I have gone this long believing I have known how to feel, to embrace everything this whole time. But these recent months have thrown all my feelings and beliefs into a paper bag and out an open car window going seventy five miles per hour on the freeway. Being so young and so naïve, I thought this feeling was normal. Not knowing I needed certain skills to find the in-betweens.
The rush I felt when the window opened and the wind brushed past my face and through my hair could never be copied. The high I felt was beyond brilliant. However this feeling once the window was rolled up became overwhelming. So overwhelming my chest started to cave, my lungs went into overdrive trying to recover from the blow I had just taken, my thoughts began to race, and my eyes began to tear up. The strain on my brain left me blind. I felt like I was in the dark all alone. My heart began to ache with so much pain… The darkness of being alone has made my world embrace this hurricane. The worst part was the thought of knowing no one would be there to hold my hand when these waves crush me down, or to help dry my tears. This shadow ultimately made me feel this rush with more intensity.
But I shall have hope because it is all I have. Hope someone will find me under this sky made of stone. When I give… I give myself waiting and hoping.
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